n. j.'s answer to a question some other part of the world never tought to ask.

24 September
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Wooden Thomas the artist and songwriter,was a Vaudvillian!
An entertainer from yesteryear who was cryogenicly frozen in the year 1919. The folk artist according to the lyric was "released from suspended animation" sometime in the early 90's. This is very much his "comeback"effort. As Historian Irwin Hovakim noted; "back in the Palisades, Wooden Thomas would mezmerise a crowd He'd be blowing bubbles from his mouth using nothing,no bubble soap liquid in sight .One could hear the sound of reverberating strings as they popped. We all knew he was making that sound with his voice,but It was still amazing. He would also curl up his tie by pulling a secret string with a vocal slide whistle sound effect that was also funny."

Wooden Thomas is by no stretch of the Imagination a legend,in fact ,practically no one has ever heard of him. But back in the early 1900's Everyone knew Wooden Thomas,"He used to play piano on his teeth using his fingers"93 year Vaudeville vet, Belinda Cantrall recalls."We all knew he was making the piano sounds with his voice ,but it was amazing any way"

Everyone back then in the Vaudville tradition would pay the performers by giving them cats! Cat's were a form of currency especially when rewarding an entertainer.To show their appreciation people would just give the performer a cat. So you see Wooden Thomas got a lot of pussy in those days,but things have certainly changed.

The last they saw of the folk artist, before he went into his cryogenic state for 71 years was in 1919. This was a well noted incident where he was challenged by a wager of five dollars in Nicholls that he could snort an entire piano up his nose.A crowd gathered,Thomas drunkenly put his nose on a grand piano and made a snorting sound that sounded like a saw for about 30 seconds (timing was everything back then) and then he just ran out the frount door not to return.

Upon being released from his suspended animation circa 1991 Sir Wooden was a zombie.Drueling all over the place like Frankenstein.
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